what's a goon to do?
1:10 p.m. on 2004-03-11

Dear Todd Bertuzzi,

I just wanted to take the time to drop you a line about this whole Steve Moore situation. As a hockey fan and someone who whole-heartedly rooted for your Canucks last year, the situation you find yourself in troubles me deeply.

Last night I saw you on the National. Your speech was touching, raw and emotional, and it was very difficult to watch you cry. You must feel awful, particularly because it was the kid's first season. You certainly said as much. He will likely never play the game quite the same again; nor will you.

What struck me as odd about your heartfelt lament is that you said that you "didn't mean" to hurt him. I mean, I'm all for gooning and I know that gooning is mostly about intimidation and pay back, and, quite often, that pay back involves some degree of "hurt." You had three weeks to stew on that Naslund hit and, truth be told, you went into that game looking to straighten the boy out. I think what you meant to say is: "I didn't mean to hurt him to the degree to which I hurt him." At least I think that would have been the truth.

It's going to be difficult to get through the rest of the season without you, and I speak only on behalf of myself. You're one of my favourite players, and, quite frankly - and this may sound weird - I've become pretty convinced that I have a crush on you. And, please, Mr. Bertuzzi, don't take this lightly, for I am a girl that limits her hockey crushes to French tenders: Theodore, Cloutier, and Brodeur. That's it. Well, okay, there was Yzerman for a while, and maybe Anson Carter too? Oh, and I've always taken a little bit of guilty pleasure in Ryan Smith....but I digress.

The point of this story is is that I think that what happened is really unfortunate, and I know that the outcome is definitely not what you had in mind. And I think that in old time hockey there just would have been a big, bench clearing brawl after the Naslund hit and you boys would've tuckered yourselves out, gotten it out of your systems, and would have been on your way. Of course, the rules have changed, and so has the game. And you, sadly, being an enforcer, were left holding the stick, so to speak.

So, while we can point the finger at you, I think we also have to consider what kind of game we've created when we allow players to walk away with their scores unsettled, leaving that brooding sense of vengeance to stew and, eventually, boil over.

Mr. Bertuzzi, your actions were most definitely pre-meditated, but, given the rules that you are expected to play by, I don't see how they could've been otherwise.

Your's from the coach's corner,

Kim "old time hockey" Steele

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